Welp, I did it. In the past week, I have officially overextended myself. I am working at the College, I auditioned for a sketch comedy group on campus, I am juggling classes, sorority, and I got singlehandedly THE most devastating news of my life. It’s been a tough week.
The week started pretty well. I got all my my work stuff with W&M straight so I can finally start working and finally start getting PAID, which is going to be great. My job is the Tribe Choices Golf Cart coordinator. That’s a mouth full. I take care of this golf cart at school that is used in order to more effectively present health education programs. I love this job. In the last year, I’ve found that I’m really passionate about health education and health promotion, so this job is right up my alley.
I auditioned for the sketch comedy group on campus on Monday. I am not the best at auditioning, I can admit that much. My auditions NEVER reflect my actual level of talent. Anyway, I got a call back after my initial audition on Tuesday, and then my call back was last night. Needless to say I didn’t make the group. I’m not extremely upset about that. In high school, theatre was my life. I’m sure people lightly throw that phrase around: “my life.” Theatre was THE most important thing to me. I lived and breathed plays; shit, I have the comedy tragedy masks tattooed on my ass…I was obsessed. I came into college thinking I was going to be a theatre major, indefinitely. I mean, I’m talented: I went to Governor’s school, did wonderfully there, starred in multiple plays in high school. I played gut wrenching roles AND comedic roles. College shot me down and left me extremely depressed in regards to theatre. I felt like all of my dreams were being fired at right in front of my eyes, and they were. Every dream that I had for myself prior to college was gone. I refused to persist, and I found other things that interested me. This year rolled around, and I thought sketch comedy might be a little different than theatre…it wasn’t. I’m secure in the fact that I’m fucking hilarious, so I’m not really going to let rejection from sketch comedy ruin my mood, but it still sucks, a lot. I’m pleased I had the opportunity to audition again, and I’m pleased that I could even bring myself to audition. However, that will officially be the LAST time I ever audition for anything. It’s not pessimistic, it’s called being a realist.
Classes are really the only thing making College life great right now. I am in love with all of my classes. I’m not going to sit here and ramble them off, but I love them. If I can’t be an actress, at least I found something that I love just as much, or kind of as much.
My sorority is great. We’re going through a period right now called “girl dating.” Girl dating is when people who want to take littles invite new members out to eat and ice cream and stuff like that in order to get to know them better. I’m not really a fan of this whole phenomenon. I understand that’s how things are done, though. I love Alpha Chi Omega, and I’m so blessed to be a part of a group of girls who are so awesome.
On a more somber note, Tuesday, I got the worst news I’ve ever received in my life. My grandpa had surgery on what appeared to be a growth of some kind on his bladder. The surgery was about a week ago, and the doctors received the pathology on Tuesday: it was cancerous. The word cancer and my grandaddy do not go hand in hand. Cancer is what happens to unassuming, weak people. (I know this isn’t true, but it’s my perception). Cancer can’t happen to someone who is as strong as my Grandaddy. I can’t even put into words how much this man means to me. He is the most thoughtful, generous, kind, loving, supportive, important person in my life (other than my parents). The thought of losing him makes me feel ill. I feel like I could get sick at any moment writing this because I am so distraught. People tend to dismiss cancer when older people get diagnosed because “They’ve lived a long and a good life.” This is bull shit. There is never a right time for anyone to get sick, and there’s never a right time for anyone to leave us. I’ve never felt so alone and hollow in my whole life. I feel like a piece of my heart has been cut out and lost. I’m crying even as I write this. He’s having surgery again in a few weeks to make sure all of the abnormailties were removed. Please keep him in your prayers. I don’t know who reads this, but whoever you all are, PLEASE pray for him. He is such a light in my world, and I need him.
Sorry to end on such a sad note.
It’s parent’s weekend this weekend. I can’t wait to see my mom and dad.