Meeting your Match (maker)

This lady is responsible for gems like “No sex without monogamy.”  As much as I like to scoff and guffaw at Patti on Bravo, I’m beginning to think that she has a point. 
Obviously I’m the best at relationships…I’ve been in so many. (I know sarcasm is hard to detect over the internet, but that was certainly a prime example of my finest sarcasm…okay maybe not my finest).  I am the queen of dating.  My Senior year of high school and the summer before college was titled the “Let boys take me out for ice cream Summer.”  I literally had a date every weekend.  It was really nice, but there was no real connection with any of the boys I went out with (from their end…I felt a connection, but maybe that’s just lust).
Before any of my friends from church or from little ole’ Windsor read this (I love each and every one of y’all) , please let me clarify: “I do not have casual sex.”  There. It’s been said.  I’m a Women’s Studies Major, so I’m pretty comfortable talking about sex- it doesn’t mean I’m necessarily experienced in the department.  
Phew, now that that’s clarified…
I am one to get attached.  When people show the slightest bit of interest in me sexually or in terms of a relationship, I get idealistic…I think it can probably be attributed to fat girl syndrome (n- a condition in which a chubby girl forms easy attachments because she fears she will never be loved or appreciated because she does not fit the mold for conventional standards of beauty).  I do not have fat girl syndrome now, but I can say I have had bouts with it, just like many other people I know.  I was always a deadly combination growing up: I was fat and smart.  These two things were major turn offs because 
1) boys don’t like fat girls (some)
2) boys don’t like smart girls (some)
These are not blanket statements.  I am sure that some boys liked fat girls in high school and I am sure that some boys liked smart girls in high school.  Unfortunately, those boys were not boys that were readily available to me.  Sometimes it’s really easy for girls to fall prey to any kind of attention from boys because they are so starved.  It’s not just fat girl syndrome…it’s “girl with zits syndrome” and “tall lanky girl syndrome.”  People who don’t fit into traditional standards of beauty should not diminish themselves and fall prey to any kind of male attention.  I don’t really know where I’m going with this post..I’m kind of rambling. My mind is elsewhere.
I just got awful news from home…a man that I love and respect very very much went home to God today.  I am grateful that his suffering has come to an end, and I am in pain selfishly because he can no longer bring light to my life and the life of my family.  He is in a much better place where he will no longer be hurting, and I am thankful that he is with the Lord.  

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